Q and A With… Tori And Dean

Reality TV stars Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott share their love secrets… and more.

You and Dean have a successful reality show on Oxygen, which is now called Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood. It seems that all these other couples’ reality shows are the kiss of death to the relationship. But yours is still strong and going stronger. Why do you think that’s the case?!

Tori: Well, we — we love working together, so we thrive.

Dean: That's the best thing you can do with your partner—spend as much time with them as you can. And working together is just gravy. It's just brought us closer together because we go through so many things together. Good things, bad things, we go through it together.

Tori: But I do think for some partners, that doesn't work, working so closely together, spending 24 hours a day together. It's so individual. But for us, I don't think we could do it any other way.

With such a busy schedule, how do you find time for romance? Any advice for couples out there?!

Dean: It's not like something we do or we set aside time. We're just so madly in love with each other that every moment is romantic. But I’d definitely recommend things like date nights—guys, take your gals shopping! They love it. They love guys who shop!

Tori: I feel like romance is a bit of a balance, though, you know. If you really love the person, you kind of give of yourself even if it's not something you would normally do. Like Dean will come get a pedicure with me because it's something I want to do and it's spending time together.

Dean: I love pedicures!

Tori: I mean, I like hockey, but it's not like I'm like, "Whoo, I want to play on a hockey team!” or anything. But I go with him because it's the whole experience of just doing something together. I find a lot of partners are just like, "Oh, no, you can go do that with the guys" or "You can go do that with the girls." And I think that's a mistake.

What’s the secret to a great relationship?

Tori: I think just complete open communication. Dean and I are always talking about everything. Keeping those lines of communication open is just so important because otherwise resentment builds up, things get lost in translation, too much time passes… it’s just important every day to talk. We vow never to go to bed mad, and he’s a good listener. Too often, men talk a lot and don’t listen very well, but Dean is not like that!

What have you learned about relationships overall?

Tori: I’ve learned that you shouldn’t settle. I think we all have our soul mate out there—you just have to believe you are going to find that person.

Who’s your hero?

Tori: Definitely my husband. He does it all! He is so amazing—I couldn’t accomplish everything that I have without him.

Contributing entertainment editor Susan L. Hornik is based in Los Angeles.
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