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Setting the mood for love requires more having a dimmer switch on your overhead lighting. Here are some feng shui-based ideas for updating your space that'll maximize your love luck.
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By Jane Ganahl
 ou've had a fabulous evening with your new romantic interest. The movie was good, the dinner was even better, and the conversation sparkled and popped. You're invited over to your date's place for a nightcap. Feeling daring, you say "yes," knowing full well you're grown-up enough to put on the brakes if the vibe feels wrong.
You arrive, breathless with anticipation — and in fact, the vibe is wrong. All wrong. It's hard to even put your finger on why, but maybe it's the unforgiving overhead lighting or the |  | | Sometimes, new love can't take root because you're stuck in the past. |
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pots and pans in the sink, or — horrors — an unmade bed, or dirty laundry piled on the floor. For any (or all) of those reasons, you politely sip your Cointreau and then head for the door, leaving your date puzzled.
If this is how your date lives, it's probably not the first time he or she has experienced a premature end to a hoped-for night of romance. No matter who the bachelor or bachelorette might be (unless you're George Clooney or Scarlett Johansson), you need to make some effort to set up your home — especially the boudoir — for love. But there's no need to run out and take a course in the ancient art of feng shui! We talked to the experts and compiled a list of to-dos for those who want to attract some excellent prospects into their beds — and keep them in their lives.
1. Get new sheets.
"Sometimes, new love can't take root because you're stuck in the past. The psychological effect of getting new sheets to sleep on says that you are ready for new love to come into your life," explains Donna Stellhorn, author of the book Feng Shui Form. "Every time you get into bed and your skin touches those new sheets, your subconscious mind is priming itself to find new love. Then, in your waking life, you're more open and ready to accept it."
2. Clear out doorways.
It might just be a matter of moving a piece of furniture or two to clear the way. "I was brought in to consult with a client who had been through a bad breakup. He said he was ready to start dating again," recalls Stellhorn. "I saw in his entryway that he had added a table, but it was too large and kept the door from opening fully. He was literally trying to block energy by blocking the door. This way, he could keep himself safe by keeping love outside. Once he realized what he'd done, the fix was easy — and he was meeting women soon after that."
3. Get rid of the pink stuff.
Color affects people's energy, says Stellhorn. "Pink is a very passive color; it helps you meditate and sleep, but doesn't help attract a love that's going to sweep you off your feet. So many women decorate with lots of pink and then wonder why the men they find are so passive. Instead, choose to decorate with red accents," she suggests. "Red is the color of passion and energy, and it attracts people who will return calls, make dinner plans and are generally more engaged in their relationships."
4. Make use of sensual textures and colors.
"Choose satin or damask, velvet, cashmere, silk or simply some high-thread-count Egyptian cotton sheets," suggests feng shui consultant Linda Varone. "Try walls that are painted in a warm flesh tone, like a pinky beige or mocha."
5. Decorate your bedroom in even numbers.
"Numbers are our oldest symbols and therefore very impressionable to our collective subconscious mind," says Tisha Morris, author of Feng Shui Your Life: The Quick Guide to Decluttering Your Home and Renewing Your Life. "For that reason, it is important to have | | | This is a very old feng shui rule that has been passed down for thousands of years. I would not test it! | |
objects placed in pairs. If you have a candle in the room, make it two; if you have pillows on the bed, make it two, four, or six. Resist the urge to have that single decorative pillow beaming out at you each night as you pull the covers down. You want to avoid the number one — or making shapes that look like the number one. And, never, ever, ever have a stuffed animal on your bed. This is a curse for any single woman wanting to have a relationship!"
6. No mirrors facing your bed.
"Do not place a mirror across from the bed," urges Morris. "If you have to have a mirror in the bedroom at all, have it on a side wall — or better yet, behind a closet door. Having a mirror across from the bed is said to bring a third party into the relationship. In fact, looking back at my life, the only time I ever had a mirror in my bedroom, it was the same one in which I got divorced," she explains. "This is a very old feng shui rule that has been passed down for thousands of years. I would not test it!"
7. Create a space that's meant for two.
"This means two nightstands and two lamps on either side of the bed, or a romantic table for two," explains Morris. "This will not only make your love interest feel welcome, it will also stimulate a joyfully expectant mindset within you which will subtly (but powerfully) make you more open to attracting romantic attention on a regular basis."
8. Light the space for romance.
"Think about it: it's all but impossible to have a truly romantic moment at a fast-food restaurant or in the doctor's office," says Tess Whitehurst, author of Magical Housekeeping: Simple Charms and Practical Tips for Creating a Harmonious Home and The Good Energy Book: Creating Harmony and Balance for Yourself and Your Home. "This is true in no small part because of the horrendous overhead lighting. On the other hand, romantic feelings are readily abundant in softly lit restaurants and candlelit rooms — not to mention everyone looks so much better in soft, ambient lighting! So, be conscious of this when you are lighting your space. With this in mind, perhaps fill a ficus tree with white twinkle-lights; add a dimmer switch, or strategically place a candle or two," suggests Whitehurst.
9. Keep in mind that your choice of décor speaks to how ready you are for love, so beware of symbolic barriers to it.
Stellhorn provides an example: "One of my clients said she was slightly nervous about getting out there again. Her home was beautiful. The living room was well-lit, had comfortable pillows and art that depicted couples dancing (a great way to attract romance). But in her bedroom, she had a broadsword hanging over her bed! She wanted a man in her life, but she wanted to take it really slow. Once she was conscious of the boundaries she had set in her apartment with her choice of décor, she started getting dates and finding new friends. And when she's ready, she can take the sword down and allow love to come in."
Jane Ganahl is author of Naked on the Page: The Misadventures of My Unmarried Midlife, editor of the anthology Single Woman of a Certain Age, journalist of two decades, and codirector of San Francisco's Litquake literary festival.
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What do you fear most at weddings? |
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44% |
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People asking you when you're going to finally tie the knot |
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17% |
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Awful bridesmaids outfits |
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11% |
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Footage appearing on 'America's Funniest Home Videos' |
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13% |
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Aunt Eunice on dance floor 'gettin' jiggy with it.' |
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15% |
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Accidentally catching the bouquet. |
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